how to find happinessDoes the question how to find happiness itself seem trivial to you? Do you associate happiness with something childlike, lightweight, not a serious subject? If you do you are not alone, many people regard happiness so. Yet, being happy ought to be at the center of our lives. Happiness, too often, is like the reward we get at the end of a long life of doing things, when we make a million, build our dream home, find the love of our dreams, raise a family. But, in truth, happiness is not some kind of super pension, or recognition of achievement for having ticked all the boxes. Should happiness not be our primary goal? And the career, home and relationships the means to achieving it? Yet, if asked, I wonder how many would put it in their top three even? Instead when setting goals and intentions people tend to opt for wealth, health and relationship. This may be due to the fact that most of us tend to think of happiness as what you get once you’ve attained one of the above, or whatever your goals are. In other words we press happiness into the service of a greater need, seeing it as following from, or dependent on other factors in our life. This may be a mistake. One of the fundamental flaws in how we think is, ‘When I get X I’ll be happy’. ‘I am miserable now but when I meet the perfect mate then I’ll be happy’. ‘I am poor now but when I win the lottery I’ll be happy’. Actually you won’t. 90 percent of people who win the lottery are broke within two years. ‘When other people change then I’ll be happy’. I don’t think so. Sadly, our relationship with God often follows this dire, I’ll be happy later program. You do your duty on earth and you get your reward when you die. This is just nonsense. Does God value you more dead than alive? Well, unless you’re happy now you cannot be happy later. expect some time delay. . . but don’t wait forever Yes, of course there is value in delayed gratification, we don’t expect all our wants to be granted instantly. I’m not talking about the Gimme! Gimme! culture. But we’re forever being told ‘suffer now, live later’. But what happens? People work for years, and by the time they reach retirement they’re too tired or unwell to enjoy life, or they’ve forgotten what their dream was to begin with. They die, as Thoreau says ‘with the song still inside them’. The mistake is, thinking you can be happy in the future if you’re not happy now. People remonstrate, ‘I put my job or my children before my own personal happiness’. Ok, but what do you think your job will bring you? It could be wealth, maybe security, prestige, the chance to get free. And what will those things bring you? The function of wealth is to buy you all the things that will make you happy. Same with security, when you’re safe you’re happy. And if you put your family first it’s because seeing them happy makes you happy. So you see everything you do, no matter what the reason you give yourself for doing it, really is a quest for how to find happiness. It is this that everyone is seeking, whether they know it or not. Money is a very obvious factor here. Some people say that money can’t get you happiness but this is not true. The mistake is thinking that money is the source of your happiness. It isn’t. The source of all your good, wealth included, is All That Is, or whatever name you call it by. If you have no money you will be miserable, no matter how spiritual you are. Many New Age people get this wrong. The error that spirituality and wealth are different is at the heart of all modern thinking, and if left uncorrected will destroy any future peace. Did a miserable person ever make you happy? Did a poor person ever make another rich? No. Unless you are happy in your heart in the present moment you will not know how to find happiness in some putative future time, nor will you have the ability to make others happy. being upbeat is not necessarily the same as being happy Entertainment can be a kind of narcotic to keep people controlled. While fine in its own right, this is not what we’re talking about when we seek how to find happiness. Personally, I’m most happy when I’m working, or writing to be precise. This doesn’t mean I’m a workaholic. I’m not, I enjoy leisure time too and plan for it, but my quota of happiness is much greater when I’m working that when I’m being entertained. If entertainment or idleness goes on too long it actually becomes irritating. I find watching television for too long makes me feel drained, lethargic and less joyful. want to know how to find happiness ? then learn to GIVE Real happiness comes from giving, that is when we give without any expectation of return. There is the argument of biological selfishness, that says even the most selfless act contains some reward for the giver. And yes this is true, but it completely misses the point. It’s almost like saying that acts of altruism should somehow produce pain, or at least indifference in the giver. But every time you give you will feel good. That’s just the way it is. Now why fight with that? Isn’t it wonderful to feel good, and don’t you want to be happy? By its very act of shining will the sun give heat. That’s its nature. By your act of giving will you too know happiness. That’s your divine nature. When you give you give to yourself anyway. There is no other giving. We all feel joy when we receive a gift, especially if the intention behind it is sincere. I always feel more satisfaction getting a gift that’s given with love rather than through obligation, regardless of its financial value. Unfortunately what passes for acts of giving today often is mere exchange. The world’s idea of giving is based on the principle of reciprocity. I give you something and in return you give me something back. This is merely a transaction. When you give you tap into the divine flow that’s already there. Don’t bargain with it. That’s manipulation, it’s giving from fear. Always give from joy. Never give from lack. When you give grudgingly you are giving from yourself. When you give abundantly you are giving from God. And when you receive you are allowing the other person to give. You are letting them experience God giving through them. The truth is most people find it easier to give than to receive. This is because we can associate power with giving, whereas receiving is always about being open. And that’s harder to do. final thoughts Happiness, as we have seen, is something which as a society we overlook. We consider it’s something that happens to us when other things go right in life, and not a pursuant in its own right. It is not taught in schools or universities. What a shame it is not taught to the young! We are hoodwinked into thinking it will happen later, that external circumstances will make us happy. Of course there are things you can do to help you find happiness, such as, go for walks in nature, listen to beautiful music, meet a friend for coffee, treat yourself to a relaxing massage - or just have some down time for yourself. Often doing something that stimulates you can be a better impetus to joy than taking a break. Take up a new hobby, or revive an old one. All these will help, but remember that true happiness can only be found within. If you want to know how to find happiness do something unusual, something that you don’t normally do. Such as stopping on your favorite walk to observe a particular bird’s habitat. The more you are curious about life, the more you seek new (not thrill seeking) but unusual pursuits the more quota of happiness you will produce for yourself. Sameness makes us stale. Happiness is important, we saw how it is overlooked, and how society is the worse for that, but it will only happen if you work at it. Happiness is your birthright. Make sure you get yours. Return from how to find happiness to the home page |
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