attitude of gratitude

The term attitude of gratitude is heard a lot on the internet these days. Now gratitude is one of the most noble qualities of the mind, and essential if we aspire to develop into fully awakened and realized human beings. However, it is a poorly understood gem. I think our society may have got gratitude wrong.

Make life an attitude of gratitude

Things have a way of always working out in life if we just trust. Trust ourselves, our feelings, others. All the labelling and projecting is a sign that we are not trusting. And trust means allowing for the possibility that, sometimes, we may fail. If you find yourself activated by this idea it probably means that along life’s path you’ve made being a success ‘right’ and its opposite ‘wrong’. As a consequence, there are things in your life right now that you’re not grateful for. Even things you’re resentful of, situations you wished were otherwise. And when we start fighting against what we don’t like in our lives, we actually create more of it. A way of diffusing this is to realize that Everything is Perfect. I know it doesn’t always seem that way, but this is where we need trust. Trust and an attitude of gratitude are pretty much synonymous. Because when we trust, really trust, we know that what we truly desire will come about. And when we are grateful, really grateful, we have the same surety.

An attitude of gratitude essentially is acceptance

There are many ways of experiencing gratitude. One is to go off somewhere into nature, sit and be quiet for a while and begin to appreciate everything around you, the beauty, the colors, the sounds, and so on. Just sit and be in total gratitude that you are here right now. Gratitude is a form of appreciation, it is about feeling the moment for what it is. It is a state we arrive at in ourselves, a oneness with the universe and all things. At its highest, an attitude of gratitude is a form of enlightenment.

You can express gratitude verbally. For example, by tell someone how much you appreciate them, how they’ve made a difference in your life. This gives the person a sense of worth, of being appreciated. Your presence before them, like a mirror, reflects back to them, the best in them. They continue to foster these qualities. Those around them benefit. The whole world does. This is gratitude in action. In today’s busy world people can feel taken for granted, overlooked. Words like ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ are easily dispensed with, seen as cheesy. (See relationship issues ) And so an opportunity to show gratitude is lost. An attitude of ‘why bother’ prevails, replacing an attitude of gratitude. And “too busy” is just a story you tell yourself.

Gratitude can be expressed financially, of course. This is probably the most common form of the expression of gratitude in our society, and while there is nothing wrong with it I’d caution against its over use. Too often we use money as a way of not communicating, of not feeling our feelings, of going unconscious even. For example, I may think, ‘Joe did me a big favour last week, I’ll send him a check.’ This can make me feel in my mind that he’s now paid off, we’re even. I can go back to the state I was in before. Whatever that was! An attitude of gratitude expressed thus is a clearing of what we believe we owe. This is not real gratitude. Money is often used to assuage guilt. Confront the guilt instead. Allow yourself to look at it without condemning yourself for feeling it.

Be careful . . .

An attitude of gratitude is not a weapon. Often it’s seen as a talisman, something to ward off bad things from happening to us. How often have you heard, ‘be grateful for what you have or you might lose it!’ This is not an attitude of gratitude. This is fear. It is the mentality of lack feverously clinging to a misrepresentation of gratitude. Sometimes praying is like this.

What about Prayer?

There can be a desperation in the way people pray, a bargaining line opens up with God. I’m sure it’s the way we were brought up. People mostly pray only when they want something. Don’t do that. Make gratitude your prayer. Prayer does not have to be a petition, in fact it need not be verbal at all. My form of prayer is to send remote or distant healing. To me it’s an expression of unconditional love.

The gift of gratitude

In our society a gift is often a means of reciprocity. Etiquette dictates how much you are expected to spend on certain occasions, such as at weddings, Christmas, or a special anniversary. Then if you fail to make the mark you’re in someone’s bad graces. That’s not gratitude. That’s exchange. But the true gift of gratitude does not expect a return.

Our feelings about money can sometimes feed into an attitude of resentment, or getting even. Now money is a wonderfully liberating thing that has the power to change your life and everyone’s you touch, yet it is often attracted to resentment. Did you ever wonder why money can arouse those kinds of feelings? We think there’s never enough, someone else has more than I do. Or, ‘he didn’t spend as much as I did but his gift was appreciated more, that’s hardly fair. How come I’m never recognised for what I give? ’ If you’ve ever caught yourself thinking like this have you noticed that the next thought was, they’re the ones who are ungrateful? Know this for a fact, when you feel you’re not being appreciated then you’re not in gratitude. Further, if you feel bad or resentful about somebody, which of you gets to suffer? That’s right, You do.

When you’re feeling life’s not fair you’re not expressing gratitude, and when you’re not expressing gratitude that means you’re not in the state of gratitude. And when you’re not in the state of gratitude you’re not attracting wealth and prosperity to you.

This is important for anyone who believes in the law of attraction, I prefer to call it the principle of attraction, or the tendency to attraction. When we’re not in a state of gratitude it is very hard to attract wealth, for the principle of attraction implies that we are grateful for what we have, and for what we know we will receive, and that we feel this gratitude as fully as if we had the thing already.

Now of course you can’t fake this gratitude simply to “get more stuff!” This is like trying to manipulate the universe. That’s why I find a lot of l.o.a. stuff a bit suspect. A feeling of gratitude must be genuine. And it must be there even when we’re receiving nothing in return.

an attitude of gratitude is an inner state . . .

How we hold people in our thoughts is also an indicator of our state of gratitude. Remember it’s in our minds that we create all things to start with, so what thoughts are you holding about others? We can express gratitude by holding people in very high esteem in our minds. Now some will react, ‘well, that’s no good because they will never know what I’m thinking’. Okay, you could always tell them! Or, better still, ask yourself why is it important that they need to know you hold them in high esteem? Could this be a need that you have, a communication you need to make to them? So then, make it, but acknowledge the need in you too, don’t hide it from yourself. And anyway, at a higher, energetic level, the person knows that you hold them in gratitude, be certain of that.

If we’re thinking unkind thoughts about someone we are not in gratitude, same applies to ourselves. Such as, thinking that we’re not ‘good enough’, holding ourselves in low esteem. If we feel bad about our own gifts, or our own abilities or talents then we are not in gratitude, because we are not being appreciative. Like most things, cultivating an attitude of gratitude begins with oneself.

Engaging in gossip is not expressing gratitude. People say, ‘ah it’s no harm I’m only talking’, but it’s really going unconscious. Also when someone in your company speaks ill of another, just think, ‘well, that’s only one part of them, another is that they’re a divine being, perhaps having a little problem right now. Let’s help them with that by appreciating that they’ve come into our world and asked for our healing’.

Real gratitude is feeling appreciation for everything we have. Some people even include illness in this, they know that at some higher level they created it, and they know this without implying any blame. Blaming gets us back to making it ‘wrong’. Blame is devoid of appreciation.

What about the government, you may ask, or the taxman? And surely I don’t have to feel gratitude for those terrible bankers who have brought us all to the brink of ruin? Well, remember we created this situation in the first place, it was an attitude of ingratitude that created the banking debacle, and only its opposite can heal it. So yes, extend an attitude of gratitude here too, if you can. However, if at the moment, you cannot feel gratitude or loving feelings for these people, then don’t force yourself. Feel them, instead, for the people in your life that you do appreciate. The more often you practice this the more the gratitude attitude itself will grow in you. In the end that’s what’s important. Making gratitude so much a part of your life that it becomes an automatic response. That it becomes encoded in your DNA.

Be effortlessly grateful

I’m grateful that I live in a democracy. Of course I don’t always agree with the government. An attitude of gratitude doesn’t mean that you take everyone at face value, or that you lose discernment. It doesn’t mean you become obsequious. That’s a script, one telling you you’re not ‘good enough’. Cultivate appreciation and you gain more clarity. Gratitude is the easy way to become unscripted.

Appreciate people. Those you meet every day, and those you don’t know and will never meet. Appreciate people in prison, those the world has labelled as ‘bad’. Just have an appreciation for their being, that they are. That’s all. Not that they are anything, simply that they are. And do this in a detached way. By that I mean try to feel genuine appreciation for everybody without any emotional engagement, neither approving nor disapproving of what they do. Just rest in the feeling that you know everyone is perfect. Celebrate the fact that you are a divine being and that others are too, even if you can’t see them shine very brightly at the moment. This is a true attitude of gratitude.

Don’t just be grateful for what you have, be enthusiastically joyously grateful! Tell one person today that you appreciate them, and mean it.

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