The official Newsletter of the-unscripted-self
Welcome back to the third edition of Soundings, the new newsletter of the-unscripted-self.
Last month we talked about the illusion of thinking we know people. Well this month it’s how little we know them, or how little time we have to get to know them. In the last few weeks I’ve had a couple of encounters with death which brings home the brevity of human existence and how every moment we have with those we love is precious.
My uncle who is seriously ill came close to dying over the past weeks, and this got a lot of things stirred up, you know, old stuff. You can read about it in
Death and the death urge
It got me thinking about my parents too. I remember very clearly when my dad died. It came as such a shock to us all as he had been a very active man and in apparent good health. His end came really quickly. He was literally walking across the road when - pop - he dropped dead. I remember all the family were in shock for weeks after.
I had difficulties with my father at one time. He was away a lot when I was young and I never really got to know him. Then he returned to live with us when I was a teenager and going through a very rebellious period. That was a bad chemistry mix, but I think there is always a father-son divide. In our case it was more an eerie silence rather than throwing things at each other. He wanted me to pursue a particular career and I wanted to do something else. My father could be pretty stubborn, but then so can I. In the end though we had a kind of reconciliation for which I am really grateful now. It was nice that we were able to sit down, have a few pints together and talk things over. When someone close to you passes on it is then you realise you can never talk to that person again, at least not on a physical level. It’s a bit like the old David Gates song, ‘I would give everything I own’.
So now his brother, my sole remaining uncle is unwell and I’m glad of the chance to be able to be with him, in what may be his final days.
Of course just because someone is not with us in a physical sense doesn’t mean we can’t talk to them. I recall doing forgiveness work on both my parents (I did this as part of my rebirthing training) and it was certainly some of the most worthwhile self development work I ever did, even if at times tough. A forgiveness process involves writing letters to your parents, first an angry letter laying out what you felt they did wrong to you, just releasing your anger. This is followed by another letter more or less from their point of view, seeing it from their perspective. Finally you write a third and balanced one. You then do what is called a 70 times 70 forgiveness exercise. This is writing out a forgiveness affirmation, in longhand, seventy times, for seven consecutive days. Very powerful stuff indeed! and in my case I felt such a release.
All forgiveness is really about self-forgiveness. Our parents are our first mediators with the world, and we store so much love and anger towards them, then when the anger gets repressed you end up creating illness and distress for yourself. After I did the process with my father I had a dream about him. In it he talked to me and said he was going through a lot of stuff himself when I was young, that he had to go away to find work and knew he wouldn’t always be around and it saddened him. Also he felt he would lose me to my mother and that she would turn me against him. He was very unhappy a lot of the time which is something I didn’t know because he was so good at hiding his feelings.
Those forgiveness exercises are very powerful. I remember the day I completed it on my mother. I went out for a walk and as I was walking down the road I suddenly became overwhelmed by the aroma of hot boiling tea which she used to make when I was little. There were no houses around so it wasn’t coming from anywhere. It felt very nurturing. I guess everyone has their own way of communicating that they got the message.
I recommend forgiveness exercises. Do them with a coach or a professional as they can be quite difficult. They are never about the person they are aimed at. They are really about you because they clear away stuff you have in your mind about that person. Each person in your world is there for a reason and is part of the plan of your life. But because stuff happens we can end up harbouring a lot of bad feelings. Forgiveness clears that away. Remember ‘you are never angry for the reason you think’.
On the subject of forgiveness and rebirthing, why not check out an earlier post I wrote.
discusses the history and dynamics of Rebirthing. Also if you want to discover how I first got involved in rebirthing you can do so here in
My Second Great Awakening.
It’s kind of a funny story.
Recent activity on the uss
I thought it a novel idea that instead of worrying and fretting our way through life we adopted the persona of an actor. Hence was born
Live life like Olivier.
It may be a dream world, a holographic mirage, whatever, but we’re in it anyway so we’re obviously here for a reason. If we live consciously, knowing that we are creating all this, and that everything is taken care of anyway then we will see things from a very different perspective. Olivier is of course Sir Laurence.
But then you knew that!
Also as promised last month I got started on my spirituality piece
What do we mean by Spirituality?
In the first part of this I examine the difference between religion and spirituality. This post has just gone up, so it’s come out pretty much simultaneously with this newsletter. The concluding part will appear in the next week or two. Here I take it to another level, arguing that spirituality is not only about transformative states and the like, but something quite different altogether.
I hope you like it!
New to the unscripted self
In other news my friend Gillian McNamara has told me of a new website she has set up. It’s called
Reiki for the Soul
and is, as you might guess, about Reiki. She would also like you to follow her on her facebook page. And when you’re there why not pop over to the unscripted self page, feel free to leave a message, or just say hello.
And don’t forget to like us!!
The crisis in East Africa has gotten worse and it has now officially been declared a famine. The drought is so bad there that farmers have taken to driving their livestock to neighbouring lands because there is nothing for them to eat. More than 12 million are facing starvation. And it is spreading to nearby regions such as Tanzania, Sudan and northern Uganda. People have walked hundreds of miles to refugee camps in Kenya and Ethiopia, risking robbers and great danger along the way. Many, especially the infants and the sick will not make it they are so malnourished. And we complain when we go down to the supermarket and find they are out of our favourite packet of serial! Think about that the next time you feel the urge to complain.
Throughout the coming month, in your own time, and in your own way send loving thoughts and intentions to all of East Africa. Picture the rain falling (that’s easy for us!) Hear the thunderous sound it makes as it hits the parched earth. Smell the mud and the new earth that the rain will uncover. Use all your senses. And see the beautiful faces of the children smiling again as they have food to eat. Thank you.
Well, that’s all for this month. Talk to you in August. Meanwhile,
Soundings will appear once a month.