personal lie

As a consequence of the trauma of birth many decisions can be made at an unconscious level that lasts with the person all their life. The child may experience a feeling of being rejected, both by its host the mother, and by the new world that awaits him. Or she may decide that the universe is a hostile place. Nobody wants me, nobody loves me, I am incapable of being loved. Also we can get the script that pain must follow pleasure. This can manifest in the belief that good things never last, or that pleasure is ‘sinful’ and must be punished, and that every high will be followed by a low. Hence the belief, ‘everything has to be paid for’, or ‘if I have too much I’ll surely pay the price’. This can be the cause of a big scarcity script. I’ve met people who’ve told me they’d hate to get rich or win the lottery because then they might get cancer.

Separation anxiety can lead to fear you will never find love, or if you do you will lose it (cut off again). It can also lead to the thought that you need another person to survive (need re-attachment). This can manifest in frigidity, fear of sex, or being able to find pleasure only through kinky or sadistic means. Generally in an inability to express intimacy.

But the most important decision is the one we make at the moment of birth. This is our personal lie. Put very simply this is the first thought you have about yourself, which can come at the point of separation from the mother, when you take your first breath, and because it is always accompanied with pain and fear, it is always a lie. The lie becomes your first program (or what I call script), and from which all other programs run. And because it’s unconscious it will run you all your life, or until you do something about it, or what I call awaken.

Note its association with death. The cutting of the umbilical cord is the symbolic first death, and with the first breath the child thinks its going to die. Birth and death are linked together forever. They are really the same. Now living in the body we ‘look back’ at birth and think that’s the beginning, while we ‘look forward’ to death and assume that’s the end. But this is only a matter of perspective. Beginning and end are really at the same point.

The personal lie is the most powerful negative thought you have about yourself. It’s usually something like ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘I m not loveable’, ‘I don’t deserve to be here’. This can manifest in various ways throughout your life. For example, it can be expressed, in that you act it out, you make it visible in your life. If the personal lie is ‘I don’t deserve it’, then the person may display low self-esteem, always taking a back seat, or putting themselves down. If it’s ‘I’m unlovable’, the person may be diffident, or rebellious.

The personal lie can also be suppressed. This means the person buries it, hides it deep in their mind. The behaviour is like a cover up, they forever try to prove the opposite of it to be true. For example, for the self-esteem that’s wanting the person feigns a kind of bravado, which can often manifest as arrogance. If it’s ‘I’m unlovable’, they may seek fame.

Finally, the personal lie can be projected, where it is now placed outside the self. Here the person thinks someone else doesn’t deserve what they have, good things always happen to others. One’s partner is ‘unlovable’ and therefore the reason why the relationship failed. Somebody else is always to blame, the boss, the government, the economy even, anyone but themselves.

The personal lie is the most debilitating thought we have, and will cripple our lives if it’s not uncovered. A great tool for doing this is the

truth process and while it’s preferable to do the truth process with a rebirther, you can do it on your own.

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